You think it's bad under McClaren? - Wigan 1 Newcastle United 0 (30th November 2005)

Those of you who witnessed football under Graeme Souness in the 2005/2006 season, will know the true meaning of the words ennui and forlorn.  Indeed, football under Roeder, Allardyce, Gullit, Dalglish and Pardew was at times some of the worst football ever played by any Premier League team.  All you need to do to fully appreciate how bad the game against Wigan Athletic was, is to think about Newcastle United under the stewardship of John Carver when Alan Pardew left and multiply it by ten.  No invention, no organisation, no passion and no excitement.  

If you don’t remember the horror of Wigan away in 2005, then just think Leicester away on 2^nd May 2015 - the eighth loss in a row under Carver - and multiply that by twenty.  Words don’t really describe how utterly shambolic and clueless Newcastle were that night but, here goes anyway.

Oh, I thought we we doing Karate. Sorry.

Newcastle started the season early in the Intertoto cup but despite grabbing an away goal to Deportivo de La Coruña in a 2-1 loss, contrived to lose the home leg 2-1 also.  If only that were the worst of it; on the back of this tie, Newcastle were somehow tricked into parting with nearly £10m for the decidedly average Albert Luque who was substituted by Deportivo on 61 minutes of the first leg having made no impact at all and was on the bench for the second leg.  

Not Rob Lee or Peter Beardsley

The season itself kicked off with 2-0 defeats to Arsenal, Bolton and Manchester United with a 0-0 at home to West Ham sandwiched in-between.  Two wins and two draws followed to add some respectability to the league position but then Newcastle visited Premier League newcomers Wigan for the first time that season.  Wigan had started the season on fire, being that season’s surprise package but this game was tainted by some awful refereeing decisions.  That and the fact Souness chose Ameobi to replace injured midfielder Lee Bowyer after half an hour instead of Lee Clark or Emre.  

Not Lee Clark or Emre

It only took three minutes for the new-look midfield to allow Wigan the chance to take the lead and this they did.  Couple that with the fact Newcastle hadn’t scored a first-half goal in eight of the last nine league games, 1-0 was an inevitable half-time scoreline.  Shearer had the ball in the net on 65 minutes despite a push on a defender but the linesman and referee saw neither (or didn’t see the foul and chose to ignore the goal).  Despite an improved performance in the second half, the game ended in defeat to a team who was now seven points Newcastle’s superior.  Pride was restored in the next game, a 3-2 victory over Sunderland, a 1-0 against Grimsby in the cup and a 3-0 demolition of West Bromwich Albion.  Seeing both Alan Shearer and Michael Owen on the scoresheet, arms around each other’s shoulders saluting the travelling support is one of those moments you never forget; mostly because that was what every Newcastle fan dreamt of the day Owen signed but, other than the 4-2 victory at West Ham later that season, I struggle to remember another occasion when both were on the scoresheet at the same time.

This should have happened more often

Despite a 1-0 victory over Birmingham City thanks to a late Emre goal, Newcastle were destroyed by Chelsea 3-0 and outplayed by Everton in a game which ended 1-0 to the Toffees.  All wonderful preparation for the game which will never leave the memories of all who witnessed it, for all the wrong reasons.

The Match

Newcastle (who fielded a full strength side) were outplayed by a Wigan team which contained seven reserves.  Back from a lengthy injury, the fans were able to see Albert Luque for what he was but despite that, the general lack of application spoke volumes about the players’ respect for their manager.  Souness however was nowhere to be seen during the game for some reason, leaving all of the shouting and gesticulation to Dean Saunders on the side-lines.  Nothing he shouted or signed was enacted however as Lee Bowyer wandered about the pitch looking completely uninterested in anything slightly ball shaped.  

This is because you didn't try hard enough against Wigan!

After the game Souness told the press that the best team won and should have won by a much bigger margin, and without naming names, called out some of his team for not giving one hundred per cent; the actions of a manger clinging to his job and credibility by one solitary fingernail.  It was the most comprehensive one-nil defeat of all time. Wigan dominated from start to finish having nineteen attempts at goal and had only Shay Given and themselves to blame for not putting the game out of reach before halftime.  When Michael Owen had signed and Alan Shearer agreed to stay on for one more year, having previously announced his retirement, Souness had made a rallying cry to say that Newcastle ‘had to win something’.  Tumbling meekly out of the Intertoto cup and then this defeat in the League Cup, made a mockery of those words. 

A Newcastle United player with a trophy, honest. (This is not photoshopped)

Still 0-0 at halftime despite the worst performance of all time, a drab, spiritless, inept and lethargic performance followed, during which Wigan seemed to feel sorry for their opponents.  Missing the target, placing the ball within Given’s reach and being generally unable to really look like they could score, Newcastle held on until the very dying minutes of the game somehow.  Wigan clocked up eleven corners to Newcastle’s none at one stage but the nearest the away side came to grabbing anything was when Emre hit the post.  It was clear to the thousands of travelling fans that to ‘inspire’ a performance like that from international class players, takes a truly gifted manager.  Souness hadn’t just lost the dressing room by this point, he’d had to send out a search party for it.

It almost doesn’t matter that Wigan won the game via a penalty awarded in the 88th minute; if Newcastle had lost the game twenty-nil, there could have been no complaints about the scoreline.

Never managed another club after Newcastle United. Wonder why.

Something had to change after this game.  It seems amazing now looking back that Newcastle managed two wins and a draw in the next three games having witnessed just how poor they’d been against Wigan.  Normal service resumed however with 2-0 losses to Liverpool and Spurs, a scrappy late draw against Middlesbrough which was followed by three league defeats to Fulham, Blackburn and the then-not-so-mighty Manchester City which spelled the end of Souness ‘reign’ as manager.

In the wake of Souness’ departure, Glenn Roeder allowed the fug of oppression to lift from the dressing room, permitted players to play in their preferred positions, watched as Alan Shearer finally broke Jackie Milburn’s goal scoring record for the club and dragged Newcastle miraculously up into 7th place and another Intertoto cup adventure.  However, 2005/2006 was the last time Newcastle United enjoyed a top-half Premier League finish for six long years.

Happier times during awful times

Read more of Newcaste United's greatest (and worst) games in the book 'Newcastle United's greatest ever games' available to buy here